Sometimes, I, randomly, think about the shit my daughter did, when she was in her late baby/toddler years. Then, I laugh.
She never cried in her crib when she woke up. She would play in there, until I came in to get her. One morning, emphasis on the ONE, she was laughing. You know, the best baby laugh, ever. So, I got out of bed, to see what she was up to. I’m thinking, she must be playing with one of her toys, or something.
But, no. She is standing up, in the crib, with something smeared everywhere. Then, the smell assaulted my olfactory nerves. POOP!!! And, what did I do? I laughed. Standing in her doorway, I laughed so hard, that tears were streaming down my face. I got closer to her, and she was staring at me, like I was crazy. My beautiful little girl, had poop smeared across her cheeks. The cheeks on her face. She had smeared it up and down all of her limbs. There was poop smeared across the wall, and all over the wood frame of her light colored crib. I grab my baby, still laughing, and put her in the tub. She had started laughing again, since Mommy was still laughing. I start running the water, and she starts smacking the water. She saw that the poop was changing, in the water. So, she puts her little chubby baby hands in the water, and then touches her poopy leg. And, continues to smear the poo into her skin, like it’s an expensive lotion, or body wash.
I get her cleaned up, then, cleaned her bedroom walls, and her crib.
I believe that was the day, I was happy with our decision to only have 1 kiddo.